I know that there will be brighter days!! With that said, I know that there will be cloudy days also so i need to stop being so overdramatic and just let those days ride out!! I’m quick to sink deep and shut the drapes along with everyone else when i’m having a “bad” day or week. I’ve learned that i’m not ALWAYS going to be happy.  There will be days when things aren’t perfect. I need to accept those days also and not look at all the negative.

I say this because i almost let Depression win. AGAIN!! Something stopped me.  I gushed my frustrated  little heart out on a post then went to check Facebook.  There it was!! A video posted that made me stop and look at my life!! I immediately came back and deleted my “pessimistic” post and cried!  How could i sink so deep and not realize that I am BLESSED? I have so much to be thankful for.  The things that were bringing me down seemed so tiny at that very moment.  That’s when i said NO!! I refuse to let him win and bring me down and drag my family down.  I refuse to soak in sorrows and tears because certain things aren’t going right.  I found my optimism as it tapped my shoulder and said “hey! remember me?!” My faith, my family and my smile is very important to me.  So i will FIGHT!! I REFUSE TO GIVE UP!! Thanks friend!

Flowers were never a thing of mine.  I was never the one to love flowers as a gift because they would die so quickly and i just didn’t find them all that pretty…i know i was an odd girl.  For some reason something happened when i fell in love!! i know it sounds super corny but that’s my theory on why i love them so much now.  Flowers from my hubby don’t really die all that quickly.  To me its a sign of our love.  I don’t expect them to last forever but they do last a long time.  One time he gave me a unique looking tropical flower (don’t know the name yet still researching), and it was so beautiful!! i think he just knows how to pick em because i pick flowers and they last maybe two or three days…his last a week or more!! Just recently Zaira (my BFF) and I walked through the Cloisters and they have a beautiful garden.  They really are a mood booster.  They were so bright and beautiful.  I’d never admired flowers like i did that day.  Something about their shape, their scent, the different colors and all the green that surounds them just sent my spirits souring.  Now i want to fill my little apartment with GREEN and pinks and white.  I love Lilies, Orchids, Tulips and Magnolias and those pictured here..i like em all lol

One day i hope to have a big backyard with a beautiful garden and maybe a tiny koi pond, beautiful trees and nice patio furniture =]  I know i’m a dreamer but thats how it all begins.  At least for now i will fill my apartment with a little bit of  eye candy ❤

“The greatest treasures are those invisible to the eye but found by the heart.” -Unknown

please click to check the work ;]A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH!

Ahmani is one!! To think that just a year ago she was still in my belly and now she is a little person with feelings and a little heart. It still amazes me as you can tell. The miracle of life is fascinating. She has learned so much already. Today I held her and laid her on my chest before she went to sleep. Something I hadn’t done In a long time. She was much bigger since the last time and almost felt sad because she will no longer be this tiny. She will continue to grow. I don’t look forward to the days where I’m lame no matter how cool I try to be. So i have to treasure these moments and hold her as much as I can now. Kiss her and smother before she starts to squirm. I get teary eyed already just thinking about it. Yeah I’m super sensitive if you haven’t noticed. She’s my life. My everything. My lungs. My happiness. Like a lion I will protect her!

She’s my dream come true! I love you Ahmani Sky!! ❤

Oh man! Where do i start?! Well, my daughters birthday was yesterday and it was a total disaster. Everyones worst nightmare when having a party, happened!! The cake was allll wrong! The decorations, the clown, the food, the music EVERYTHING was wrong.

I cried!! Oh yess I cried like a baby while my sister gave me a pep talk in the bathroom. I’ve never been good at plannng anything. That combined with little help spelled disaster. I really don’t want to relive the night so I will spare the details but I wanted the night to end. Well I’ll share one detail we left the loot bags home!! Yeah what all the kids wait for and look forward to was nowhere to be found actually they are still sitting in my kitchen. I Cringe at the sight of them. It’s safe to say that the very hungry caterpillar is not my fave anymore.

I was very dissapointed! Soooo dissapointed because it was her first birthday. It’s supposed to be the most memorable. She will only turn one once and it was the worst birthday party in human history. I felt bad for everyone who had to sit through the horror. No I am not laughing it was HORRIBLE! I tried to keep a happy face on but couldn’t. I couldn’t hide the fact that I was so upset and extremely embarrased.

Ok let me stop reliving the moment now. What’s done is done. It’s over! I can just imagine what everyone was saying when they left. Ok I’ll stop torturing myself now. Ahmani did have fun although she didn’t want to leave my side for one second, she still looked adorable in her red dress and when we sang happy birthday she was amazed and happy. That was honestly the only highlight of my night besides getting home lol. I just wish I could do it over…umm actually I wouldn’t. It was an extreeeeme learning experience and one that I will remember for the rest of my life! PARTY PLANNING IS NOT FOR ME!! now we all know why I will not be getting married and havin a huge reception. City hall here I come! Oh and her sweet sixteen?? oh Mann I gotta think of an awesome gift cus she will not be getting a party.

I may be the only twenty-something year old to say this but I am seriously looking forward to my 40s. I feel like the more I age the more I know what I want and how to aquire it. I feel more and more comfortable with ME as a woman! I don’t see myself knocking off my years and don’t knock anyone for doing it. I mean hey whatever makes you feel good! I just feel like your 30s and 40s are the Golden ages. now them pesky 50s I don’t know about, even though my mom has never looked better at this age. I say as long as we get there it’s still a blessing.

I’ve heard women say “I’m twenty something, omg I’m almost thirty, I’m so old!!!” gotta be kidding me right?? Just recently my bestfriend tells me that Sarah Jessica Parker is 45 and Kim Katrall or whatever her name is, is 54!! ARE U KIDDING ME!! yess these women are celebrities and have these trainers and surgeons and magic potions but they are still human just like us and look FABULOUS at 40 and 50!! What makes me so different that I can’t look and feel that good at that age also. I think it’s in your state of mind. You will always BE sexy and confident if you THINK you are. So to all my sexy women around the world. Wether 20 or 70 yess I said 70 ;] ( cus I will still be one sexy grandma lol) we are all beautiful!! We can all be confident and sexy at whatever age!! And I will be living proof along with so many other inspiring women!! Owwww ;]